Recovery Awareness
Foundation
Recovery
Awareness
Foundation
VICTORIES
Each and every BRAIN INJURY survivor has his or her victory stories and we want to hear them. Celebrating the victories of recovery is just as important as the victory itself. Celebrating can aid in the determination to continue the struggle towards recovery! A celebration doesn’t necessarily mean having a party – receiving the words "Good Job" for a BRAIN INJURY survivor struggling to "come back" is in itself celebration enough. We want to add our Voice with praise and the words "Good Job" and "A job Well Done" for the victories of your BRAIN INJURY survivor. No matter how small the accomplishment, we want to celebrate in their Recovery!The Dreaded Eleven Letter Word "INVOLUNTARY"
I remember all to well what it was like at the very beginning of my daughter’s injury.
I remember when we were finally allowed to see her after 7 hours in the operating room and 2 hours in recovery - the first thing I was told was not to expect any responses from her. We were told we could talk to her - but she would not know I was in the room. I remember thinking to myself that it was impossible for Michele not to know I was around. She had always been like a second shadow to me, and I didn't believe for one minute that she wouldn't know I was with her. She clung so close to my apron strings that I would often tease her about the seriousness of the situation if I made a sudden stop! "It’s going to take a mighty big plunger to remove you!" I would jokingly tell her. However, when I got my first look at her, I never expected to see my child in the condition she was in. All the monitors, the catheter inserted into the top of her head to monitor her pressure, and the respirator that was breathing for her! There were tubes and intervenes lines running into every available vein she had! For one split moment when I saw her I forgot the closeness that I shared with my daughter and I began to sob softly while I said her name over and over. Everyone in the room was shocked when she reached her arms out as if to embrace me, and her legs began to move like she was trying to walk! I knew in that moment that my Michele knew I was there. As strange as it sounds – I could mentally hear her calling out to me "I am okay mom" – "Don’t cry – I am okay"! I knew in those few seconds that not only did she know I was there – but that she was going to come back to me!
Everyday I would go into the ICU and pray for some sign that she was coming back to me, and everyday was the same - I would get nothing from her! No squeeze of my hand or finger, no opening her eyes when I begged her too, no wiggle of the toes - nothing! Thirty days later when she was moved from the ICU and into a private room - I thought "this is it - now she is away from all the beeps, pings, and buzzes, of the machines and monitors she was connected too - she will wake up". Everyday for a week I would go into her room and expect to see something - but there would be nothing! On the last day before she was moved to the first rehab facility - my husband stopped to pick a rose as we were leaving the house for the drive to the hospital. It was the first rose from a new bush I had planted, and in fact I hadn't even expected to see a rose on it that summer. When we got to the hospital that morning, Bill put me out and I went straight to her room while he parked the car. I jumped on the elevator and went as quickly as I could to her room. I knew in my heart that I was going to see something from her that morning. However, as I stood next to her bed looking down at my child, all I saw was the same lifeless body lying there doing nothing! I took her hand just as my husband came into the room carrying his single pink rose and I said to her "Look Michele - dad is here and he brought you a rose". My heart almost stopped beating when her right eye opened and she smiled a very lazy smile. Both my husband and myself began to cry with joy, and I was almost yelling "She Smiled at him"! We were crying, laughing, and beaming with joy when the nurse came into the room and immediately busted our bubble. "Coma patients always smile when they mean to cry" "It was an involuntary reaction"! I can't begin to tell any of you how I learned to hate the word "Involuntary"!
As soon as the nurse spoke the words my heart dropped to my feet! But then I started thinking about her reaction to that rose - and I knew it was not a reaction brought on by the injury! Bill is Michele's stepfather, and often their relationship had been "rocky"! they would argue sometime until I thought I would explode.-, but she loved him. Michele was only 13 when Bill entered our life, up until then I had been a single parent. She was 22 when she had the accident – and he had become the only good father she ever knew! They had their share of bad days but she knew when the chips were down he would be there for her. But giving her a rose? She would have never expected it! I know for Michele – it was worth waking up – even if just for a moment – too see her stepfather bringing her a rose! It would have put a smile on her face no matter what her condition was!
From that day forward I learned to either keep her achievements to myself - or tell the nurses and doctors and let them believe what they wanted. Yes, I used to get the "poor woman - let her believe" looks, but I knew what was going on with my child and they didn't. I couldn't make them understand that before she was their patient - before she was my baby - she was a tiny little piece of me that couldn't even be seen with the naked eye! I knew what was going on with her because it was a piece of me recovering!
We have been through the grinding teeth phase - the neuro sweats - the chewing - the look of being alive but semi dead. The feeding tube, the medications, the diapers (still there) - but to all of you who are new to this - I want to tell you there is hope in every single movement you see from your son, daughter, husband, wife, mother, father, brother, or sister. Don't let your hopes be crushed by well meaning people! The hospital staff is trained to heal the wound – YOU have to get them through recovery with your HOPE, LOVE, & FAITH! I learned to take every little accomplishment like moving a finger as a sign that she was still with me and struggling to get back. Every time I saw Michele do the tinniest little thing I would work on it and ask for more!
She got her G-Tube the later part of August of 94. We removed it completely in January of 96. It has been four years now and she is happy, very vocal, VERY cognitively aware, and a complete joy to be with! It took three years for me to hear her voice - her speech therapist said I never would! It took almost four years to see her stand on her feet - her physical therapist said she never would! She walks with my assistance - but I know she will walk on her own one day!
I know it’s hard - but keep your chin up! The day is coming when you will be an "old" hand at this recovery process.
I would never wish this on my worse enemy - I certainly would have never wished it on my own child - but I wouldn't have missed this experience for the world!
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